Father's Day

As I scroll through my newsfeed on Facebook, I have friends who dedicate a status or picture to their loving father and others who are left with cherished memories of a father who is deeply loved and terribly missed. I find myself (as I do every Father’s Day) feeling a course of emotions running through my heart.  I’m happy, humored, touched, connected, envious, angry…and longing.

As kids, my siblings and I often found ourselves in the category of the fatherless.  I don’t have a story of great honor to tell about why my father was absent from our lives. He didn’t die a great man or have to leave for extended periods of time to provide for his family…he often chose alcohol instead of us.

I remember watching other kids with such longing.  I wanted to feel like my dad loved me like their dad loved them.  I wanted to feel like my dad chose me.  I wanted the security of a father.  I longed for him to want to be our father. 

I am thankful that God can reach us even through heartbreak.  I have forgiven my dad (a lesson in itself) and even tried to put some semblance of relationship back together with him.  I am thankful that God uses others to reach us even through heartbreak. I look back and am thankful for the many men who stepped up and filled the role of substitute dad the best they could.  I remember my Uncle Reeve offering to take us to Father-Daughter banquets and Uncle Sam reminding us that we were great kids and our dad was really the one missing out.  God blessed me with the world’s greatest grandpa who spent countless hours pouring into our lives, praying for us, and teaching us about a father in Heaven who loved us with a perfect love.  I remember a pastor at our church taking my brother fishing and others who would tease us and show us magic tricks.

     When I was 12, God used another man to love us. Bless his heart, my stepdad chose very

Proud Papa

deliberately to be a father to my siblings and I. (He must have also been slightly crazy to take on two preteen daughters and a son!)  I will never begin to be able to express to him the depth of gratitude I feel for him and his selflessness as our dad.  He has shown me what a godly husband and father look like and has sacrificed more for the three of us than some genetically related fathers do for their kids.  He is a true hero in every sense of the word.  (And if you know my dad, you know words aren’t really his thing.)  

   

World's Greatest and Best-Looking Dad

  Now I help my kids celebrate Father’s Day with their dad. I sometimes find myself jealous of my kids.  They have the kind of dad my heart desired so greatly as a kid. They have a dad who loves them, chooses them, and protects them.  I know they think the world of him now and he is their hero just as my stepdad is mine.  I hope that as they continue to grow, they never forget how truly blessed they are to have a godly father in their lives.

     Father’s Day is a day of mixed emotions for me.  My childlike heart still longs for the daddy I missed out on and my grown up heart is so thankful to finally have a dad who really did choose me.  My heart is also full knowing that even when our earthly fathers let us down, our Heavenly Father loves us with a perfect love.

Happy Father’s Day to the dads and "substitute dads" in my life!