Are Ye Kiddin' Me, Matey?

   I have previously written about my desire to be part of the Pinterest Mommy Club (PMC).  I have also previously written about my shortcomings to prevent my induction into said club.  Try as I may, I just can’t seem to figure out the formula these women use to get their kids to look at the camera and smile all at the same time, finish projects that are worthy of a photo shoot, and keep my house clean…all at the same time.

     My son just turned three years old and as ashamed as I am to say it, I saw this as my prime opportunity to prove myself to the president of PMC. I knew she would be won over not only by my perfectly executed preschool soiree, but my charm and charisma would lead the way to my initiation in one of the most exclusive mommy clubs known to motherkind.

     Like all good PMC members, I began my search for the perfect party in no other place than the namesake of our club, Pinterest.  Like most other active three year old boys, my son is obsessed with two things: bugs and pirates.  I began my search there, pinned the adorably perfect party ideas, and like any time and budget conscious mom, decided on the theme that would require the biggest amount of effort and the most amount of money.

     So began our month and a half long process of planning, purchasing, and producing the perfect pirate party.  

     When the day of the most highly anticipated event of our son’s short life arrived, the sun was shining brightly and things were going perfectly according to plan.  Food was prepped, water games assembled, the cakes were baked (from scratch, of course), and the decorations were ready.  I decided to shower and get ready quickly before putting everything out.  (In case you aren’t familiar with motherhood, it is a law of nature that 1)moms are not supposed to shower and 2)if they do, something will go awry.)  Something I cannot describe as anything short of a universal phenomenon happened while I defied the laws of motherhood.  When I came back out to put everything together, the cloudless, sunny sky had quickly become a black mess of wind and clouds.  Within minutes (I’m not exaggerating, minutes!), we saw a brilliant flash of lightning, heard a thunderous crack directly over our roof, and a downpour ensued for the next hour…to which I replied, "Arr ye kiddin' me, matey?"

     I quickly, but sadly, adjusted our plans.  After all, the show must go on, and our son had a great birthday. It turns out, he and his friends couldn’t care less about themes and perfectly decorated birthday cakes.  They got to sword fight and eat cake and open presents…what more can a kid ask for?

     I have a new theory about the PMC.  The moms in the club are more powerful than I initially thought.  Not only are they able to get kids to do what no other being on the planet can, they can control the weather.  (I have yet to see pictures from their perfectly put together parties that do not contain a bright and cloudless sky.)Either these women are truly incredible, or they could sense I was on to them and used their powers for evil. Either way, my perfectly planned celebration most definitely fell short of PMC standards.

 With that said, I think it may be time to give up my ambition of being the newest member of the Pinterest Mommy Club…although my daughter’s first birthday is just around the corner…

Below is what my blog may have looked like this week had I not angered the universe with personal hygiene. I am going to pin this post in hopes that another poor mother desperate to plan the perfect party might find help, not with ideas for the perfect pirate party, but as a warning that membership in "the club" may result in more power than most moms can handle.

We sent our invitations message in a bottle style.
At least my niece liked it! Isn't she adorable? 

 We made three flags (yes, I actually broke out the ol' sewing machine)  and mounted them on PVC pipe to put where the umbrellas would go on the patio tables. I then made a bunting with coordinating fabrics to put on the back rail of the deck. 

Where the flags and bunting should have been...

Look at that...

  We had coordinating plates and napkins.  Even the straws had matching flags.  

Who wouldn't want to drink with that? 

     All of the games were planned as outdoor water games.  The plan was to walk the plank over the baby pool with a sprinkler, sword fight in the sprinklers with pool noodles that had been cut in half, and then use nerf balls to have a cannon ball fight.  After each game, they would get a clue leading them one step closer to the buried treasure.  We made a treasure chest from an old shoe box (painted brown), spray painted some rocks gold, added some craft jewels, and plastic beads for the treasure.  (That box was forgotten until tonight...let's just say the treasure was better left buried after several heavy rains.)  We improvised with the games and had the kids hunt for the goody bags instead.  Each goody bag was filled with Hershey's gold nuggets and Rolo's, an eye patch, some plastic beads and rings, pirate tattoos, and my son's personal favorite, ring pops. 

Ronan walking the plank

The kids didn't seem to mind that the fight was indoors...
even the men joined in

      At last it was time for the birthday cake.  The cake truly was made from scratch (and the cupcakes were rice crispy treats mixed with a boxed cake...delicious).  I wimped out and bought the frosting.  There is only so much a girl can do...come to think of it...maybe that's why the Pinterest moms turned on me...

It's amazing what one can do with a little chocolate
and some airheads.  (Again...matching flags!)

What a cute pirate!

     

Non-Bucket List of Summer Fun

    The lazy days of summer are upon my household.  Our normal routine has been scrapped and we’ve spent several days in our pajamas.  I’m talking entire days in our pajamas…unless one of my neighbors happens to be reading this.  In that case, those are our “cleaning clothes”.  If one of my friends is reading this, my house only looks like a mess.  We’re downsizing and organizing…it has to get worse before it can get better, right?

     I don’t know if it’s because you spend the first several weeks of summer at full speed, determined to make every minute of these warm days and long nights count, determined that your kids will have some good memories from childhood.  Maybe it’s because we took our family vacation and now there’s nothing “big” left to look forward to. Maybe I’ve simply come to the realization that my kids don’t appreciate elaborate memory making moments any more than they appreciate simply blowing bubbles in the driveway.  Whatever the reason, the last week or so at our house has truly illustrated what it means to have a lazy summer day...or ten...in a row.  

     I have several mom friends (women who could probably be defined as the “pinterest mommies” I wish I was) who have made bucket lists of summer for their families.  I’m not talking a simple list on a cute notepad. Picture giant, cutesy posters with kid-friendly penmanship and illustrations.  I was determined to make one with our family.  We even got some tourism brochures and catalogs hoping to add some new and exciting adventures from our new area…but somehow we never got around to it and in my desire to be the next member of the Pinterest Mommy Club, simply scrawling our ideas on a piece of college-ruled notebook paper we would surely misplace just didn’t suffice.  We took a much more effective approach…we didn’t do one.

     I haven’t thought about our non-bucket list of summer fun for several weeks…until yesterday evening.  My husband arrived home from work and suddenly I realized I was still in the tank top I’d slept in the night before and the cut off sweat pants I’ve had since I was a senior in high school. (Yes, Mom.  I still wear them.) My hair was uncombed and unkempt, and the baby was wearing nothing but a diaper.  Thankfully my three-year-old prefers to dress himself, so at least it looked like he’d made some effort to be part of a civilized society.  It was in that instant that I realized we may be getting a little carried away with our slothfulness.  I determined then and there that it was time to make our summer bucket list.  It may not be as exciting or fun as my other mommy friends, and most of the items on the list are things my kids do anyway, but maybe if we have a list we can create enough momentum to at least put our clothes on and run a brush through our hair.  For your viewing enjoyment (and so I can't lose the list)…

The Cole Family Summer Bucket List

·         Venture into town once a week

·         Watch any cartoon besides “Justin Time”

·         Get dressed every day

·         Play on the Slip n’ Slide

·         Go fishing and catch something (preferably fish)

·         Play at park

·         Look for frogs

·         Have a bonfire (and S’mores)

·         Chase a butterfly

·         Go for lots of walks

·         Attract a hummingbird to our feeder

·         Make our own popsicles

·         Go camping

·         Send out birthday thank-you cards

·         Eat a watermelon

·         Mow the lawn before it’s too hard to push the mower 

Going camping...almost

Spending the day in your pajamas/diaper

Slip N' Slides...not intended for adult use

It isn't summer without a little watermelon..

Going for a walk

Don't you wish you looked this cute in goggles?
 (Or "gobbles" as they are referred to around here)