Scare Tactics and Angry Mom Whispers

      You know that feeling you get  when you wonder if everything you’re doing as a parent is going to completely scar your children for life?  I’ve had that feeling a lot lately.  Maybe it’s because I have a baby who is still teething and is a little fussier than usual, maybe it’s because I’m learning that three is going to be worse than terrible two’s, or maybe the love that was showered on me last Sunday has made me reevaluate my skills as a mother.  Whatever the reason, I’m fairly certain my kids are going to end up a train wreck by 25. 

      A few weeks ago, I made May Day baskets to deliver to our neighbors.  I pulled the kids in the wagon in 90 degree heat…before naptime.  My first mistake was making May Day baskets to deliver to our neighbors.  My next mistake was pulling a wagon in 90 degree heat.  My biggest mistake was underestimating the grave importance of naptime in our home.  After explaining how to hang the basket and run quickly back to the wagon 852 times, snatching the paper baskets from my 8 month old daughter’s mouth 253 times, and re-explaining how to hang the basket and run quickly back to the wagon another 378 times, we finally arrived to deliver our first basket. This was the moment, that glorious moment when I would pass down one of my childhood memories to my children.

Don't let their cute, little faces fool you...
they know how to make your hair turn gray!

He was so sweet walking up to the door… the wrong door. He was going to the wrong door!  After being redirected and making it to the right door, he couldn’t reach the door handle or the doorbell.  So, 25 pound baby in tow, I helped him hang the basket and ran quickly back to the wagon…with Ronan stopping behind to look at the yard decorations, play in the bird bath, and pick up a new rock for his collection.   

      Now this is the moment I scar my kids for life…I whispered angrily to him.  (You know what I’m talking about don’t you?  The “angry mom whisper”.  It doesn’t really mask the volume all that well, but adds extra emphasis and a terrible hissing sound that is supposed to sound more threatening than it really is. We’re really big into scare tactics around here.) So, I’m whispering angrily at Ronan telling him once again how we’re supposed to run from the house so we don’t get caught and when we stop to play in their bird bath they could catch us.  And letting him know how he’s ruining the game if he doesn’t play right…and blah, blah, blah. I really like to drive home my point on these mom tirades, so I keep saying the same thing over and over in different ways because we all know a three-year-old has an excellent attention span and lecturing is the most effective way to change their behavior…repeat this cycle four more times with various lawn ornaments and the occasional warning about how walking in people’s grass is rude and that about sums up our May Day experience.

      By the time we got home, I swore I would never observe another May Day as long as I was alive, to which Ronan replied, “We still have another basket to deliver…” 

      Just this morning I had another Anti-Fun-Mommy moment.  I felt so guilty after it happened.  It ended with everyone in tears and I knew I needed to refocus and collect myself before I could go on with the day.  I had a heart-to-heart with God and was reminded that I needed to refuel for the day.  So I opened my bible and this is what I read,

“He tends his flock like a shepherd:
    He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
 he gently leads those that have young.”

-Isaiah 40:11

      I don’t know about you, but I find this verse so comforting.  He’s leading me, not in a judgmental way, humiliating me when I fail to live up to the measure of a perfect mom, but gently.  God understands my desire to be a great mom, he understands my shortcomings and tendency to suck the fun out of should-be great moments, and it seems He also understands that having kids is tough…so He gently leads...Presumably not through the grass or with a loud mom whisper, but gently leading me so that I may lead them.

Lord, thank you for your understanding.  Thank you for your gentleness.  And thank you for leading me in these tough moments with little ones.